ebook_ADHD2019

70 Rohde, Buitelaar, Gerlach & Faraone Many children with ADHD experience such persistent and powerful negative feedback from those around them that they learn to think of themselves with a “fixed mindset” in which they understand themselves as doomed to frustration and mediocrity, unable to make any significant change in their ability to cope with challenges they encounter. Cultivation of a growth mindset has been demonstrated to be helpful to any in- dividual. It can be especially helpful for those who need to cope with impairments of ADHD. More detailed explanation and examples about how parents, teachers and others can help to nurture development of a growth mindset are provided in Dweck’s book which is also available online as a free audio book. SUGGESTIONS TO HELP PARENTS DEVELOP EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR CHILDREN 2-12 YEARS In his book 1-2-3 Magic: 3 Step Discipline for Calm, Effective and Happy Paren- ting and in videos, Thomas Phelan 10 has described a simple practical system which many parents and teachers have found helpful for encouraging their children to behave. His system can be very helpful in dealing with children who have ADHD. Phelan 10 begins by reminding parents that children should not be treated as reaso- nable little adults who will change their behavior in response to reasonable paren- tal talk about what to do and why they should do it. He claims that many parents and teachers make two major mistakes in dealing with children: they do too much talking and show too much emotion, both of which tend to encourage the child to persist in the very behavior the parent is trying to stop. The 1-2-3 system involves the parent saying “1” when a child starts an unwanted behavior, but not saying anything more about it. If the child persists in the unwa- nted behavior, the parent simply says “2” without any additional comment. If the child persists in the unwanted behavior, the parent says “3” and tells the child to go to serve a time out which is usually no longer than one minute for each year of the age of the child. Phelan’s books and videos suggest practical ways parents can deal with the many real-life problems that come up when the child refuses to go to his room, keeps coming out, continues to argue, etc. But he emphasizes the need for the parent consistently to avoid getting caught up in talking to the child or acting emo- tionally upset while using the system. He also encourages the parent to avoid any debriefing or other additional discussion of the incident after the child has retur- ned from time out. His system also provides tactics parents can use to encourage their children to start doing tasks or behaviors the parent wants them to do. Examples include getting up and out in the morning, cleaning rooms and eating, doing homework,