ebook_ADHD2019

The World Federation of ADHD Guide 73 for those with ADHD and those with whom they live and interact. Any clinician seeking to understand and provide care for these people needs to be sensitive to the complex and often changing dynamics in emotional interactions of those who need and try to utilize treatment for ADHD. If they have adequate resources, treatment services for those with ADHD and their families may offer counseling or psychotherapy for individuals, couples or families when emotional issues become especially problematic. Yet, support for recognizing and dealing with emotional aspects of ADHD may also be provided by the tone and content of education offered in the course of evaluations, follow-up sessions, and in literature and educational information provided. One example of emotion-laden stress is conflict between parents of a child with ADHD. PARENTS MAY DIFFER IN THEIR APPROACH TO DEALING WITH A CHILD WHO HAS ADHD In Outside the Box: Rethinking ADD/ADHD , Thomas Brown 15 has described how parents of children with ADHD often become polarized into extreme positions and spend much time and energy accusing one another of being too harsh or too lax in dealing their child. One parent may argue that the child is suffering consi- derably from impairments related to ADHD and needs much more support and understanding rather than confrontation and punishments. The other may argue that the child needs to be punished promptly and more firmly for misbehavior or failure to do assigned tasks so he can learn eventually to discipline himself. Often their arguments can lead each of these parents to ignore the truth of the other’s concerns and to argue a more extreme form of their own position. In such situations both parents are likely to need help to stop and remind them- selves and one another that both of them love the child and that both of them are arguing something that may be quite true. However, their task is to put their heads together to decide in each specific situation how best to deal with that particular situation in a way that will help their child to feel loved, but also to behave more appropriately. Sometimes more understanding and support are needed and, at other times, the more pressing need may be for both parents together to confront the child and to enforce their expectations more effectively. Sometimes develo- ping a more effective strategy may require consulting with trusted friends or family members or a professional who understands both ADHD and stresses of paren- ting of a child with ADHD. Additional resources for addressing emotional conflicts in ADHD relationships are found in Russell Barkley’s When an Adult You Love Has ADHD1 6 and in Gina Pera’s Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder. 17